Author Archives: nola2886

NO LAW Presents: The Nutcracker

Princesses, rat queens, ball busting, nut cracking. Muster up some holiday cheer and join New Orleans Ladies Arm Wrestling at One Eyed Jack’s on December 7th with that giving spirit. Our last brawl of the year will benefit Womanspace Louisiana, a safe haven for women who are experiencing homelessness, mental illness, and/or substance abuse.

Pre-action happy hour at 8 pm with tabling by local organizations. End of night post-action dance party with DJ Swim Team!

As per usual, ruthless wrestlers are lined up to fight for power, glory and affection. Your bets and $5 cover support local women’s organizations and could win you bar tabs, gift certificates or sweet NO LAW swag. Bring small bills for betting and bribing. Come for the drinks and ladies, stay for the smackdown.

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On to the next one

Brief, over-due wrap up of the Surf and Turf Brawl! It Ruled. We raised 2k for the amazing bicycle fundraiser organization Nola to Angola. They ride from New Orleans to Louisiana State Penitentiary over three days in October. Check out the website or facebook for more info on how to join or donate. In keeping with the theme, wrestlers had to pedal their way on stationary bikes into the top bracket as well as ripple those biceps. A-List appearances from Whitney Houston (straight from the grave never looked so good) and oh so fashionable pop-star Katy Perry helped facilitate the MANY ties these bad-ass women racked up through the night. Brawlers pulled out all the stops making messes of science experiments, wreaking havoc via tug of war and intimidating the competition with giant claws. In the midst of it all, NO LAW bid farewell to a very important member, our beloved stage manager, Angharad, who is off to millions of adventures. We love you Angsta the Gangsta! And when the sand storm settled, the new champion was Lamps Armstrong, representative of the beneficiary itself. She finally kicked her juice box habit and had a clean, proud win of this Tour de LAW. Shine bright like a glittered lampshade.

 

Huge thanks as always to DJs Justin and Brian, our half time performers from Broken Mirror Productions, One Eyed Jacks, performers, volunteers and the generous audience! We hope to see you at our next event, The Great Bawl of Fire on September 7th at Handsome Willy’s. We have not brought the ruckus to this bar in a few years and are very excited for an outdoor showdown. Proceeds will benefit New Orleans Girls Rock Camp.  Come at 8 pm for food and bev, feats of strength start on the nosey at 8:30 pm and stay late for a serious dance party. Seriously.

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Gettin hott in here.

We’re more than just a piece of meat. NO LAW Summer Surf and Turf Brawl Saturday June 1st, 2013 at One Eyed Jacks, 8 pm! Proceeds will benefit Nola to Angola, a bicycle fundraiser that benefits the Corner Stone Builders Bus Project. Corner Stone provides free bus trips for families in New Orleans to visit their incarcerated loved ones. Over 90% of the people who ride the buses are women and children. Learn more at www.nolatoangola.org

We are lookin for wrestlers, talented performers and folks to get involved! Want a behind-the-scenes role? We love people who help us promote, sell raffle tickets or just provide general support! Email wearenolaw@gmail.com and we’ll find you a spot on the plate.

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Saints Alive!

Our Matron Saints Brawl on March 16th crowned new champion Seance Brawles, mystical witch of the underworld, in a heavenly battle against Mad Mary Magdalene and her crew of arch angels. Twas a fierce battle but with the power vested in the gold dust woman, Seance was crowned mistress of the night.

Amens and hail mary-s to all the other wrestlers! We saw returning favorites, Friend to the Worker Lefty Lucy and Irish Gangsta Slamrock O’Hagan. The law was thrown out/laid down. Visiting CLAW USA representative Sabrina Pratt from Chicago’s Second City gave us some pointers and surprise guests from our nation’s capital materialized.  Flour and brass music filled the air, twas magical.

NO LAW raised $2,320.00 for Reach-In C.A.R.E thanks to One Eyed Jacks, DJ Swim Team, entourages, talented performers, The Mystic Ponies Aerial Troupe, bad ass organizations and you giving, giving people. Glory matria! For more information on any of the groups we work with or to lend your strength/smarts/dark arts/skills, email us wearenolaw@gmail.com. Also, thanks to WGNO you can watch some TV footage of the brawl here. Big time!

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Mixer Happy Hour starts at 7:30 in One Eyed Jacks. Come meet folks from Breakout!, Hagar’s House, Books to Prisoners and other awesome organizers we love. Half time acts of music, make up and more. Dance party to follow the brawlin amen.

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Throwback Bday Brawl

Belated blog thanks to everyone who came to our anniversary celebration. We scaled it way down and still had a grand time raising $400.00 for Crescent City Childcare Collective. Lookout around town for newest champ Lefty Lucy who is political and packing heat.  Everyone looked gooood, from wrestling organizers to glittered up Mid-Western representatives. A million thank yous to Finn McCool’s and their super helpful staff plus DJ Frenchbraid who kept everything raging.

 

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Bets and bribes go to Crescent City Childcare Collective. DJ Justin and DJ Frenchbraid dance party to follow.

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2012 Wrap Up

Now that the pesky apocalypse is out of the way we can get with the brawlin. This was NO LAW’s third year of ladies arm wrestling and it was incredibly successful. 2012 saw a surprise guest appearance by Kristen Schaal, a road trip to Charlottesville, VA for the First National Super CLAW and collaborations with V-Day, Fleur de Tease, Queerspiracy and many more.

In four brawls we raised $9,100.00 for organizations/projects in the community. Yikes! We could not have done any of it without One Eyed Jack’s, DJs Justin and Brian Boyles, wrestlers, entourage members, celebrity judges, donations and the fun, lovely folks who attended the events, throwing their hard earned money at the beneficiaries. Seriously, thank you.

Please come be a part of the matriarchal mayhem. We are starting to envision the 2013 season and would love to get more folks involved.  *As a collective we resist and reject sexism, ageism, homophobia, transphobia, classism and racism. Just a few ways to help:

-Wrestle! : We can always use new or repeat personas to throw down. Make a scene.

-Apply to be a beneficiary: Part of an group that is women focused? Shoot us an email and we’ll send you the tiny application.

-Donate a prize: The bets, bribes and raffle are a huge part of what we raise every brawl. Provide an incentive for the crowd to make it rain. We welcome anything from coffee shop gift certificates to DIY offers of a free bike tune up or a weekend of pet sitting. Let’s get creative, y’all.

HEY! You’re part of it. Jump into the NO LAW fray. Do whatcha wanna. YOLO (or whatever the kids are saying these days).

Email wearenolaw@gmail.com or follow us on twitter @wearenolaw or creep us on the facebook. Happy New Year!

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Ladies Making History

Even post-post election we still find ourselves chanting “FOUR MORE BEERS FOUR MORE QUEERS” because why not? Congrats to the First Ladies Brawl Champion- The Incumbent! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. She beat out undead-fresh Funkenstein in the Final Match to take home her trophy and endless amounts of tax breaks. Mad style props to Amelia Armhart who was literally flown in over the crowd and Coco LaCroix , that thirsty lady who sparkled up the stage. We saw cats from the former Soviet bloc and Secretaries of State showing their wild side. (Just a tip, Hillary2016.) The Iron Butterfly went through a stunning metamorphosis, there was pupa everywhere. The Nurse may have committed medical malpractice but we can’t be sure. Get me some of dat Obamacare.

 

President Barack himself dropped by to celebrate his victory and explain how our great State of Louisiana doesn’t provide for much needed programs such as the Rape Crisis Center’s medical advocacy center. Therefore, NO LAW raised $3,300 dollars for ’em! New record bringing an end to our 3rd year in existence. We are so proud to support the New Orleans Family Justice Center and the work they do. Well done, entourage, you savvy bunch of hustlers. Shoutouts to our DJs and celebrity judges, Sarah Palin and her new bestie, Snookie, for keeping it real. And thank YOU, crowd, scandalous betters and bribers that you are.

 

Get more involved with the Rape Crisis Center or NO LAW by emailing wearenolaw@gmail.com! Be an entourage member or apply as a beneficiary. Try your biceps at wrestling, bake something for the wrestlers or hold a sign, there’s room for all. News on next brawls and appearances to come.

Wrists Up!

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