Bets and bribes go to Crescent City Childcare Collective. DJ Justin and DJ Frenchbraid dance party to follow.
Now that the pesky apocalypse is out of the way we can get with the brawlin. This was NO LAW’s third year of ladies arm wrestling and it was incredibly successful. 2012 saw a surprise guest appearance by Kristen Schaal, a road trip to Charlottesville, VA for the First National Super CLAW and collaborations with V-Day, Fleur de Tease, Queerspiracy and many more.
In four brawls we raised $9,100.00 for organizations/projects in the community. Yikes! We could not have done any of it without One Eyed Jack’s, DJs Justin and Brian Boyles, wrestlers, entourage members, celebrity judges, donations and the fun, lovely folks who attended the events, throwing their hard earned money at the beneficiaries. Seriously, thank you.
Please come be a part of the matriarchal mayhem. We are starting to envision the 2013 season and would love to get more folks involved. *As a collective we resist and reject sexism, ageism, homophobia, transphobia, classism and racism. Just a few ways to help:
-Wrestle! : We can always use new or repeat personas to throw down. Make a scene.
-Apply to be a beneficiary: Part of an group that is women focused? Shoot us an email and we’ll send you the tiny application.
-Donate a prize: The bets, bribes and raffle are a huge part of what we raise every brawl. Provide an incentive for the crowd to make it rain. We welcome anything from coffee shop gift certificates to DIY offers of a free bike tune up or a weekend of pet sitting. Let’s get creative, y’all.
HEY! You’re part of it. Jump into the NO LAW fray. Do whatcha wanna. YOLO (or whatever the kids are saying these days).
Even post-post election we still find ourselves chanting “FOUR MORE BEERS FOUR MORE QUEERS” because why not? Congrats to the First Ladies Brawl Champion- The Incumbent! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. She beat out undead-fresh Funkenstein in the Final Match to take home her trophy and endless amounts of tax breaks. Mad style props to Amelia Armhart who was literally flown in over the crowd and Coco LaCroix , that thirsty lady who sparkled up the stage. We saw cats from the former Soviet bloc and Secretaries of State showing their wild side. (Just a tip, Hillary2016.) The Iron Butterfly went through a stunning metamorphosis, there was pupa everywhere. The Nurse may have committed medical malpractice but we can’t be sure. Get me some of dat Obamacare.
President Barack himself dropped by to celebrate his victory and explain how our great State of Louisiana doesn’t provide for much needed programs such as the Rape Crisis Center’s medical advocacy center. Therefore, NO LAW raised $3,300 dollars for ’em! New record bringing an end to our 3rd year in existence. We are so proud to support the New Orleans Family Justice Center and the work they do. Well done, entourage, you savvy bunch of hustlers. Shoutouts to our DJs and celebrity judges, Sarah Palin and her new bestie, Snookie, for keeping it real. And thank YOU, crowd, scandalous betters and bribers that you are.
Get more involved with the Rape Crisis Center or NO LAW by emailing email@example.com! Be an entourage member or apply as a beneficiary. Try your biceps at wrestling, bake something for the wrestlers or hold a sign, there’s room for all. News on next brawls and appearances to come.
The seasons are changing and we’re ready for anything.
Save the date! Next brawl is November 10th at One Eyed Jack’s. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to get involved in so many, many ways.
The show at One Eyed Jack’s was a big time big top success raising $3,000 for Liberty’s Kitchen, our highest amount yet! Their wrestler, Lady Liberty, took home the gold(en trophy). USA! USA! Hot Sauce put up a tough battle with a spicy, sassy entourage backing her the whole time. Sriracha never looked this badass.
The crowd got a little lesson on what it means to be Midwestern. OMAHA, NEBRASKA really, really represented. There was corn everywhere. Shoutout to our sisters from Austin, TX: Gina Tonic and the Cheer Squad. All the wrestlers were incredible from Lil Night Mer’s rejection of convention to Plague from the Hague’s impressive clog dancing. The Pelican Brief had the whole package: undies, feathers and clever signage. Birthday Sex offered an explanation of ALL the options consenting adults have on their happy day. Our Bribe Babe created a spectacle by wrestling her twin. Was it Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum who had the sister victory? Could you tell? Do they know? We don’t know.
Big thanks to the entertainment with a hilariously lovely performance by Trixie Minx and Niki Frisky’s defiance of gravity, plus a hoops act by Niki, Summer and…a dancing banana. Celebrity judges Miss eNOLA Gay and Miss Asa Metrical handled the tie breaking via tough trivia and aerobic exercise. There was even some locomotion commotion. XOXO to DJs Justin and Brian, all the business who donated prizes, the entourages workin to collect all that dough and our beautiful, generous audience. Your support keeps it all rolling. Amid the hoopla, we said farewell to our wonderful MC Charlie. NO LAW is going to miss you so so much. Best of luck in all your future endeavors. Bring some of dat bounce to DCLAW.
MC Charles Daffodil
Liberty’s Kitchen helps at risk youth develop employable skills while providing a supportive community. Yeah!
Dance party with DJ Justin and Brian Boyles. Halftime acts of burlesque and trapeze by Trixie Minx, the Mystic Ponies and more!
We are hauling collective ass up to Charlottesville, VA for the intergalactic ladies arm wrestling battle in a mere 14 days and just cannot wait to bring it. Sistah Mary Slammer is ripped and ready to brawl upon the hallowed ground where it all began. Amen. The New Orleans beneficiary for June 16th’s Super CLAW is Hagar’s House, who was our very first recipient ever. They continue to be a fantastic home for women and children and we are proud to support them.
$1,500 to the girls program at Covenant House from the Matriarchal Mayhem Maytime Brawl! Big ups to DJs Justin Thomas and Brian Boyles, Howlin Wolf, photographer Katrina Arnold, Celebrity Judges and all the amazing wrestlers and their entourages. Also, mad thanks to Kristen Schaal, of The Daily Show and 30 Rock fame, for hanging with us. She bested our Referee arm to arm and kind of maybe sort of not really got married. We love you. Kristen Schaal is a horse.
Really the biggest surprise of the night though was Grandma Foots’ transformation from shuffling little old lady next door to a neon colored dancing arm wrestling fiend. She had us all fooled. Thanks for the long con, Grandma. She made it all the way to the final round but was defeated by new champ, Cosmic Crusher. Space power took home the gorgeous trophy from the girls at Covenant House. Our other wrestlers were on top of their game too. Babe Lincoln and her Vampires treated the audience to teeth and campaign swag. Pillar of Assault got some Snookie loving and the Second Wave showed Bingo Cunninglino what old school feminism is all about. You all rule.
Join us this Saturday at One Eyed Jack’s for Rights of Spring, a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood with Fleur de Tease. Cover is ten bucks for some amazing burlesque, ladies arm wrestling booth and erotic readings of Roe v. Wade. Doors at 9, show starts at ten.
NO LAW is going on the road! We head to Charlottesville, VA in June for SuperCLAW. This will be the first ever national ladies arm wrestling championship, bringing together leagues from all over the country. Sistah Mary Slammer will be repping us hard and we want to win! More information and excitement to come.