Tag Archives: Claw

Saints Alive!

Our Matron Saints Brawl on March 16th crowned new champion Seance Brawles, mystical witch of the underworld, in a heavenly battle against Mad Mary Magdalene and her crew of arch angels. Twas a fierce battle but with the power vested in the gold dust woman, Seance was crowned mistress of the night.

Amens and hail mary-s to all the other wrestlers! We saw returning favorites, Friend to the Worker Lefty Lucy and Irish Gangsta Slamrock O’Hagan. The law was thrown out/laid down. Visiting CLAW USA representative Sabrina Pratt from Chicago’s Second City gave us some pointers and surprise guests from our nation’s capital materialized.  Flour and brass music filled the air, twas magical.

NO LAW raised $2,320.00 for Reach-In C.A.R.E thanks to One Eyed Jacks, DJ Swim Team, entourages, talented performers, The Mystic Ponies Aerial Troupe, bad ass organizations and you giving, giving people. Glory matria! For more information on any of the groups we work with or to lend your strength/smarts/dark arts/skills, email us wearenolaw@gmail.com. Also, thanks to WGNO you can watch some TV footage of the brawl here. Big time!

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2012 Wrap Up

Now that the pesky apocalypse is out of the way we can get with the brawlin. This was NO LAW’s third year of ladies arm wrestling and it was incredibly successful. 2012 saw a surprise guest appearance by Kristen Schaal, a road trip to Charlottesville, VA for the First National Super CLAW and collaborations with V-Day, Fleur de Tease, Queerspiracy and many more.

In four brawls we raised $9,100.00 for organizations/projects in the community. Yikes! We could not have done any of it without One Eyed Jack’s, DJs Justin and Brian Boyles, wrestlers, entourage members, celebrity judges, donations and the fun, lovely folks who attended the events, throwing their hard earned money at the beneficiaries. Seriously, thank you.

Please come be a part of the matriarchal mayhem. We are starting to envision the 2013 season and would love to get more folks involved.  *As a collective we resist and reject sexism, ageism, homophobia, transphobia, classism and racism. Just a few ways to help:

-Wrestle! : We can always use new or repeat personas to throw down. Make a scene.

-Apply to be a beneficiary: Part of an group that is women focused? Shoot us an email and we’ll send you the tiny application.

-Donate a prize: The bets, bribes and raffle are a huge part of what we raise every brawl. Provide an incentive for the crowd to make it rain. We welcome anything from coffee shop gift certificates to DIY offers of a free bike tune up or a weekend of pet sitting. Let’s get creative, y’all.

HEY! You’re part of it. Jump into the NO LAW fray. Do whatcha wanna. YOLO (or whatever the kids are saying these days).

Email wearenolaw@gmail.com or follow us on twitter @wearenolaw or creep us on the facebook. Happy New Year!

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Place Thine Bets

We are hauling collective ass up to Charlottesville, VA for the intergalactic ladies arm wrestling battle in a mere 14 days and just cannot wait to bring it. Sistah Mary Slammer is ripped and ready to brawl upon the hallowed ground where it all began. Amen. The New Orleans beneficiary for June 16th’s Super CLAW is Hagar’s House, who was our very first recipient ever. They continue to be a fantastic home for women and children and we are proud to support them.

Check out the amazing national website and description of NOLAW’s lovely lady of the cloth. Slam Em Sistah!

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Twas the Final Countdown

Super Brawl was a super duper success! The event raised $2,500 for Common Ground Health Clinic to update their Women’s Resource Guide. Thanks to the generosity from you all, CGHC will be able to work on a Spanish language version as well. That’s fantastic. Big thank yous to the Howlin Wolf for fulfilling our High Life needs, DJ Justin for the killer beats and Katrina Arnold for the fabulous live shots and portraits that will be coming soon. We also had Billy Hunt and Brian Wimer, the geniuses behind the upcoming CLAW documentary, as guest videographers. They created a ridiculously entertaining dance video with material from the brawl. Do take a look.

Who is more competitive than a collection of previously victorious lady arm wrestlers? That was a trick question. There is no one with more of a desire to win an on stage, costumed yet physical competition than our champions. NO LAW started the night off with a bounce national anthem sung by Sarah Palin as the wrestlers were introduced. Celebrity judges Snooky and Councilwoman Kristen Palmer provided running commentary throughout the night, bringing in money by taunting the wrestlers and the audience, goading them on to bigger and better bribing. The entourages were at the peak of style, as gladiators, geeks, girls on fire and mustachioed Cajuns. Half time performances brought the show to a new level with burlesque by Praline Dupre and a jive-ass show by dance troupe NOLA Hip-Hop.

Bait and Tackle and Sistah Slammer were so evenly matched from the get go they had to dance it out, Slammer moving on as the victor of the booty shaking. The president of Chi Omega was in New Orleans on Spring Break, so she stepped in for a missing champion, charge card in hand. Swamp Thang found power through her ever popular nutria bikini to end the sibling rivalry and defeat her sister, our very own Councilwoman Palmer. Long time crowd favorite Phiery Phoenix refused to burn out or fade away all night, gathering bribes for re-dos and even subbed in to provide left handed power for the last round. You all rule ladies.

Then there was the Final Match. For the whole enchilada. All the marbles. The whole ball of wax.  The Denominator (formerly known as Crybaby) vs. The Viper. Cheers were chanted, math problems were solved. A gaggle of patriotic ladies waged an enthusiasm war against a tribe of nerds. It came down to sheer strength of arm and the Viper left the table victorious! She was rewarded with much hissing and a skeleton trophy. Power! Glory! Mayhem!

Keep an eye on us for new merch and upcoming events including The New Orleans Bookfair and Fringe Fest. Wrists up!

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