Tag Archives: Sister Mary Slammer

Flower Power

$1,500 to the girls program at Covenant House from the Matriarchal Mayhem Maytime Brawl! Big ups to DJs Justin Thomas and Brian Boyles, Howlin Wolf, photographer Katrina Arnold,  Celebrity Judges and all the amazing wrestlers and their entourages. Also, mad thanks to Kristen Schaal, of The Daily Show and 30 Rock fame, for hanging with us. She bested our Referee arm to arm and kind of maybe sort of not really got married. We love you. Kristen Schaal is a horse.

Really the biggest surprise of the night though was Grandma Foots’ transformation from shuffling little old lady next door to a neon colored dancing arm wrestling fiend. She had us all fooled. Thanks for the long con, Grandma. She made it all the way to the final round but was defeated by new champ, Cosmic Crusher. Space power took home the gorgeous trophy from the girls at Covenant House. Our other wrestlers were on top of their game too. Babe Lincoln and her Vampires treated the audience to teeth and campaign swag. Pillar of Assault got some Snookie loving and the Second Wave showed Bingo Cunninglino what old school feminism is all about. You all rule.

Join us this Saturday at One Eyed Jack’s for Rights of Spring, a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood with Fleur de Tease. Cover is ten bucks for some amazing burlesque, ladies arm wrestling booth and erotic readings of Roe v. Wade. Doors at 9, show starts at ten.

NO LAW is going on the road! We head to Charlottesville, VA in June for SuperCLAW. This will be the first ever national ladies arm wrestling championship, bringing together leagues from all over the country. Sistah Mary Slammer will be repping us hard and we want to win! More information and excitement to come.

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We Love Mommas

Our Lenten Brawl was a success of biblical proportions. $1,300 is going to Birthmark Doula Collective, which is enough to buy TWO birthing tubs and upkeep materials for a year. Well done betters and bribers! This past throwdown saw the comeback of crowd favorite SlamRock O’Hagan. She was smashed by the Harlem Hammer, in the end, who had the intense eye contact skills and attitude to become our newest champ.

MC Nina was taken out by the woman who brought her into this world. Tete La Plenty showed us what tough stuff she was made of while her entourage glitter bombed the first five rows of the audience. Sister Mary Slammer graced us with her presence to provide blessings  and settle the centuries long debate of Christianity or Judaism when she beat the Circumcisor in a special arm wrestling holy war. Somewhere between weilding an umbrella and burning Chris Brown’s reputation, celebrity judge Rihanna found  time to practice her planking skills for a bribe-sponsored match between illustrious butt ref Big Ern McBurn and former contender, the Vagitarian. Immigrants, religious enthusiasts and many sassy folks all put on an amazing show and got our 2012 season off to a great start.

Humongous thank yous to DJs Justin and Brian Boyles (especially for the continuing after party at Handsome Willy’s), the Camel Toe Lady Steppers, Praline Dupre and the Howlin Wolf. Photos are by Katrina Arnold, check her out for all your freelance needs.

Look for our next brawl in May!

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Twas the Final Countdown

Super Brawl was a super duper success! The event raised $2,500 for Common Ground Health Clinic to update their Women’s Resource Guide. Thanks to the generosity from you all, CGHC will be able to work on a Spanish language version as well. That’s fantastic. Big thank yous to the Howlin Wolf for fulfilling our High Life needs, DJ Justin for the killer beats and Katrina Arnold for the fabulous live shots and portraits that will be coming soon. We also had Billy Hunt and Brian Wimer, the geniuses behind the upcoming CLAW documentary, as guest videographers. They created a ridiculously entertaining dance video with material from the brawl. Do take a look.

Who is more competitive than a collection of previously victorious lady arm wrestlers? That was a trick question. There is no one with more of a desire to win an on stage, costumed yet physical competition than our champions. NO LAW started the night off with a bounce national anthem sung by Sarah Palin as the wrestlers were introduced. Celebrity judges Snooky and Councilwoman Kristen Palmer provided running commentary throughout the night, bringing in money by taunting the wrestlers and the audience, goading them on to bigger and better bribing. The entourages were at the peak of style, as gladiators, geeks, girls on fire and mustachioed Cajuns. Half time performances brought the show to a new level with burlesque by Praline Dupre and a jive-ass show by dance troupe NOLA Hip-Hop.

Bait and Tackle and Sistah Slammer were so evenly matched from the get go they had to dance it out, Slammer moving on as the victor of the booty shaking. The president of Chi Omega was in New Orleans on Spring Break, so she stepped in for a missing champion, charge card in hand. Swamp Thang found power through her ever popular nutria bikini to end the sibling rivalry and defeat her sister, our very own Councilwoman Palmer. Long time crowd favorite Phiery Phoenix refused to burn out or fade away all night, gathering bribes for re-dos and even subbed in to provide left handed power for the last round. You all rule ladies.

Then there was the Final Match. For the whole enchilada. All the marbles. The whole ball of wax.  The Denominator (formerly known as Crybaby) vs. The Viper. Cheers were chanted, math problems were solved. A gaggle of patriotic ladies waged an enthusiasm war against a tribe of nerds. It came down to sheer strength of arm and the Viper left the table victorious! She was rewarded with much hissing and a skeleton trophy. Power! Glory! Mayhem!

Keep an eye on us for new merch and upcoming events including The New Orleans Bookfair and Fringe Fest. Wrists up!

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Livin in the 21st Century

Big thanks to DJ Justin, our photographer Katrina Arnold and The Rusty Nail! Also to Trixie Minx and Oops the Clown for their opening performance, PLUS all the wrestlers who put on an amazing show! We raised $1000 for Women with a Vision and folks got to hear about the amazing work they do to challenge the totally wack “Crimes Against Nature” law. If you want to learn more/get involved/know what’s up, check out the WWAV website.

The smack talk and theme songs were at their most epic this time around. Doris Doomsday returned to try and teach new contender Ice Cold some manners, but Ice bested her and went on to the final round. It was Sister Mary Slammer though with all the power of the lord behind her who became our new champion. She even beat a fellow woman of the cloth to to smite the competition in the end. Amen. We like to give our crowd what they want so a special brawl between Cherry Popeye and celebrity judge, Yoko Ono was bankrolled pitting celebrity v. cartoon character. Yoko bested the peppy sailor but not before they gave us a dance off fit for the rapture. Watch it all here!

Save the date for your next chance to be this close to glory, Steamy Summer Brawl will be July 16th back at the Nail. We’ll have hot new merch for sale, including  NO LAW bandannas to wipe the sweat from your tan brow or use as a coozy on your frozen disco lemonade.

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